The Queen of Phalli
by Nobody Cares
Game Details
- Version
- Chapter 13.2
- Developer
- Nobody Cares
- Engine
- HTML
- Status
- Ongoing
- Language
- English
- Censored
- No
- Updated
- 17 April 2026
About
In this alternate Forgotten Realms, the dark elves have become an all-female civilization, and the ones who rise highest are priestesses blessed with the genitals of both sexes. Getting there means walking the Path of Perpetual Pleasure, and the game does not pretend that path is metaphorical.
Elifael El'Naar of House El'Naar wants to become one of those priestesses. Reaching that rank means surviving her sisters, her matron, and whatever the Queen of Phalli's Path throws at her, cocks very much included, on the way to earning the goddess's favor.
It plays as a text-based branching novel: you read, you choose, and the choices split into different outcomes and endings for Elifael's journey. Later chapters have started experimenting with dungeon-crawl structure, complete with dice rolls and the occasional game-over screen if you pick badly. There's a short intro cinematic and a bit of music, though the soundtrack currently only plays in the first chapter while the composer works out the rest.
Changelog
- An experimental release in many ways, I tried to design a bit of a dungeon crawl for this one. Nothing excessive, but there will be dice rolls and game-over screens.
- 2026-1-20:
- 2025-7-28:
- Updated user interface
- Added soundtrack. It will only play in chapter 1, as it is a work in progress.
- Added a new intro cinematic to the game.
- Warning: Some images in chapters 3 and 4 may appear while on the wrong path. It is a known issue and will be fixed before the next release (of the Illustrated edition). Thank you for your patience.
- 2025-4-22:
- New user interface (work in progress)
- New sound effects added to the game
- Warning: Some images in chapters 3 and 4 may appear while on the wrong path. It is a known issue and will be fixed before the next release. Thank you for you patience.
- 2024-12-18:
- A whole lot of new images added (Chapter 4)
- 2024-11-15:
- Fixed issue that would not let you progress the story on Sha'zal Path/Loving/Emerald Path.
- 2024-11-15:
- New images added (Chapter 3)
- New gallery system (accessible from the menu).
- New bonus images added to the gallery, reward for completionist players who play all the passages of each chapter (so far, only the images for chapter 1 have been added).
- New save/load system. Savegames are now easier to manage. The only inconvenience is that you will have to export your current saves from the browser version and import them in the exe version.
- 2024-08-19:
- New images added (Chapter 3)
- New gallery system (accessible from the menu).
- New bonus images added to the gallery, reward for completionist players who play all the passages of each chapter (so far, only the images for chapter 1 have been added).
- New save/load system. Savegames are now easier to manage. The only inconvenience is that you will have to export your current saves from the browser version and import them in the exe version.
- 2024-07-04:
- 2024-03-21:
- 2024-03-07:
- Second chapter of Book II - NOVITIATE. It is a long one, divided in two main paths with a few different sub-paths.
- Added a small gallery at the end with a preview of the first illustrations, accessible from the end credits.
- 2023-03-20:
- First chapter of Book II - NOVITIATE. Lots and lots of new characters to meet, new paths to take, new decisions to make.
- 2023-03-20:
- The conclusion to Book I - BAPTISM. No major choices to take, the whole chapter is one long epilogue. There are four different endings (five if you count the Synafae path being divided in two, depending if you switched to her from Maryl or Nefail).
- 2023-01-08:
- All choices taken up until now in the story will come to a head. There are four possible endings, plus one bad ending/game over.
- 2022-11-22:
- Corrected a LOT of typos.
- Added 3 possible dream sequences to the end of Chapter 3 , so yeah it is kinda sorta somewhat worth the dowload (if you want to read them but have saved at the credit screen, just roll back a couple of passages and you should be good).
- 2022-11-19:
- Further improved readability, changed colours to light gray and dark grey; changed font to helvetica, more line spacing between paragraphs.
- 2022-10-15:
- Added a save/load function.
- Improved readability, the text is now in very light yellow on very dark blue. Should be easier on the eyes.
- 2022-09-17:
- Initial Release
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